Self Acceptance

For a man with a small penis, one of the most difficult yet important things he will ever do is learn to accept it.

It’s difficult for many reasons.

Most small penis men have been bombarded all their lives with verbal and visual reminders that they don’t measure up. That having a small penis means you’re inadequate in all aspects of your life, not just sex. You’ve seen average or large-sized men in locker rooms, public showers, public toilets, and in pornography, and thought something must be wrong with you. Perhaps you’ve been reminded of your small penis by other males (hazing or bullying), past or present partners, or even your wife. Maybe you’ve even been frustrated at not being able to find a condom that fits.

There’s also a never-ending focus on penis size in the media that continually reinforces the ‘size-matters’ mindset around you. Finally, if you’ve had any sexual experiences at all and your performance was judged to be inadequate, this serves to cement the notion that having a small penis was to blame.

So think about these things for a moment.

Have any of them happened to you?

Chances are, if you have a small penis, you will certainly identify with one, or all of these scenarios.

While many average-sized men experience feelings of inadequacy in regards to their penis size, they don’t really experience it on the level a real small-dick man does. I’m talking about men with less than 4.5 inches BPEL. Even those suffering Small Penis Syndrome still manage to find love despite their psychological hang-ups, while many real small dick men find it very hard to meet a lifelong partner. In fact, many of average or larger-sized men may have bullied a small penis man before, shame on you!

Women also have a hard time coming to grips with this, because they don’t understand the depth of our experiences, or what we think or feel. We often keep it to ourselves. Therefore, this is why men with small penises are like a fraternity. We generally understand each other, because we’ve experienced the same things.

Also, women generally don’t have a clue how to have sex with a less endowed man and go about it in the same way they would with bigger men. Therefore, when the sex isn’t great they naturally decide it must due to the penis size, not the fact they’re clueless (no one ever blames themselves). The problem I see often is sexually inexperienced men have this belief that women must know everything about sex, but in my experience, they don’t. Once you teach a woman how to have sex with a less endowed penis, though, they are fine.

How many of you have heard a woman say size does not matter? That is until they find out your size, then it seems to matter a great deal. So if you think about all of this, is it any wonder most small penis men develop a serious complex?

The Defining Moment: Have You Had One?

Because of all of these life experiences, small penis men seem to fall into one of three categories:

(1) Those Who Are Comfortable in their own skin: Some men can overcome any perceived disadvantage, and function perfectly. They’ve been aware of their penis size, but it hasn’t affected their lives too much. They may suffer mild embarrassment when changing in public and cover up, or not use public urinals choosing to use the stalls instead, but otherwise, they don’t really think about it much. They’re comfortable in their own skin.

(2) Those Who Are Perpetually Frustrated: Unfortunately, some small penis men live in a perpetual state of anxiety, frustration, and depression. Often developing internalized anger/bitterness/shame and it becomes deeply ingrained in their personalities. I’ve encountered men like this who are still virgins after fifty due to their small penis. They develop a victim mentality about life and obsess about their size to the point it clouds their thinking in all aspects of work and relationships. If this is you, then please seek professional counseling, you can be helped with antidepressant medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

(3) Those Who Eventually Accept Themselves: Accepting who you are (your strengths and limitations) is not always easy, but it’s important. The transition from being frustrated to self-acceptance is possible, but it also presents a challenge. Most small penis men who are able to accept themselves usually have a moment that is potentially their worst nightmare come true. A moment of potential or actual humiliation about their penis size, but it turns out facing their fear frees them from it. Once they realize it’s fear holding them back, not their penis, they feel liberated. They fall in love with their small penis for the first time and stop seeing it as a handicap to life.

One reader wrote to us and told us his story that illustrates this:

I was at the gym late one time and had just gone into the shower. No one else was there, and I began showering. Shortly after another guy came into the shower and he was only about five-feet seven inches, tall with a slender build, but what caught my attention was he had an enormous penis. It had to be close to seven-inches long flaccid, just dangling between his legs. And it wasn’t just long, it was also thick. I had seen other large penises before, but there was something different this time. It’s hard to explain, but a lightbulb went on in my mind.

In the past, I would have quickly turned away or left the shower immediately, but this time I didn’t. I was always one of those men who would shower in record time, or always have a towel around me. But not this time, and I remember looking at his penis, and then down to my own and thought to myself: his penis is huge, while my penis is small. The first time I ever acknowledged I had a small penis. I had always known it, of course, but had never accepted it. Well, I had no idea what the impact that simple self-acknowledgment meant, but from that moment on everything changed. I no longer felt shame, guilt, or embarrassment at having a small penis. I began to like my small size. I began to like myself.

In thinking about this later, and this was a very important, I realized that just because I have a small penis, it doesn’t make me any less of a man than other guy’s who are average or larger. It’s merely a physical difference. Some people are tall, some are short, some are skinny, some are overweight, etc. It’s just merely a physical difference. I realized that this single physical characteristic doesn’t define who I am as a person. That was a big moment for me, and it changed my life.

Does Self-Acceptance Really Change your Life?

In some respects, self-acceptance won’t change the barriers that life may throw your way for having a small penis. You’ll still find people may be cruel to you about it, and sexual partners may still reject you. Movies & TV will still feature women paying out on small dick men. What changes though is how you deal with those moments. Being rejected or bullied by others is something that happens to every person, and if you’re reading this, you know that already. Having a small penis is just one cause of bullying in society there are thousands of others.

As a small penis man who has self-acceptance, I find it doesn’t mean I no longer have moments of self-doubt. Moments when I see my penis and feel inadequate or angry I lost the genetic lottery in life, or when my dick fails me sexually or with urination. However, these are just moments, and when done, I get on with life again. The difference is I don’t obsess over it. Every person on Earth has similar feelings about his or her bodies, it’s called normal. It’s only abnormal when these thoughts become an obsession and rule your everyday life.

So self-acceptance may not change how the world sees you initially, it changes how you see the world. Eventually, as you grow confident in yourself again, the world will begin to see the new you through your change in attitude. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’ll never have moments where you feel bad about your size, it just helps you frame those times properly and move on. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’ll automatically become a great lover and sexual partners will swoon at your feet. Sex is a skill you have to learn, and with a small penis, teach your partners how to feel pleasure with you.

There is no easy formula for success with a small penis, it’s bad enough the world can be cruel to us, but we need to stop being cruel to ourselves. It’s not your fault you have a small penis, so forgive yourself.